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So, I stepped down from some responsibilities at my church. I had to admit that it wasn't meeting my spiritual needs, and decided that even though I love the community I need to take my time back to actually do my spiritual work. It was tough and emotional.

I also changed one of my romantic relationships, moving to a more friends-with-occasional-benefits situation. I needed to let go of long-distance relationships for my own emotional health. I need more people in my time zone, as my mother says, in the metaphorical and in the literal senses. That doesn't make it sting any less, and I'm really glad my partner in that relationship is kind and loving and truly wants me to be safe and happy.

I've emailed to see about starting a barre exercise class--working out and being healthy will help make space for other things, too.

I didn't plan on needing to work on this kind of space, and it's heavy.

In happier news, I'm about to embark on Camp NaNo for the succubus story, and bass lessons and time with Mr. K. continue apace.
shadowbird: (Default)
We've had a good day so far. It started out rocky, because we woke up at 8:15 realizing that no one had woken us up at four. This would have been A Cause for Much Rejoicing, except that our alarm clock is one small fuzzy gray monster named Nimbus, and it's not like him to shirk! We realized he hadn't touched his food or water all night, which triggered a search and rescue party. A quick look through the house had us in a panic, because our very vocal baby wasn't making a sound, and after opening every room, closet, and cupboard we still hadn't uncovered him. We began to fear the worst. Cadence and her dad made two separate checks of the porches and the basement with no luck. Nearly in tears, I walked out onto the porch and called him while shaking the bag of treats. He began to mew piteously--our poor baby had gotten outside and hidden under the porch at around midnight when Cadence set the trash out! He'd squeezed himself under the porch and couldn't find his way back out. The power drill made quick work of removing a section of lattice, and we carried him inside and fixed him warm food and gave him lots of love. He's completely fine, but it was a hell of a scare!

Swinging so quickly from terrified to joyful gave me a jolt back into the meaning of the equinox. We strive to achieve balance in activity and rest, in joy and sorrow, in courage and fear. We preach moderation and abstinence. I was reminded how important it is to balance all things, to remember gratitude for what we have, and not just focus on what we lack. I needed that reminder.
 
We went out for coffee and desserts because Dad's birthday is tomorrow and mine is on Thursday. I got a really yummy red velvet cupcake. I forgot to check in on Foursquare, which I'd like to start doing more of to give a little boost to local businesses I like. Hopefully when we move I can be more mindful about that. Then we went to the Dreaming Goddess, which is a metaphysical shop here in Poughkeepsie (again, meant to check in but am not in the habit yet!) and Mom got me a zodiac wheel sticker that I am  using to decorate the Cr-48. (Yes, I got a Cr-48 from Google's pilot program!! It's amazing and I adore it.) I also picked up a magical almanac for the year (one of the Llewellyn ones), which was on sale and which I'm hoping to incorporate into my mindfulness goal by using it to be more aware of things like the moon phase and sign for each day.
 
Speaking of mindfulness, I am working more of that into my daily spiritual practices as well. I exercise every morning at the same time that I pull my tarot card for the day, consciously trying to bring together physical and spiritual mindfulness. I have also (re)started making a checklist every morning of the things I want to get done each day. It's been helpful, in part because we won't have a real daily schedule until we move.
 
Speaking of moving, we are well on our way! Our final approval for the apartment we've decided on should come through by Monday, and we'll be moving on April 1st! Hopefully we'll have jobs lined up by then or shortly thereafter. I'm quite pleased. I love my in-laws, and they've been absolutely wonderful, but it has been a bit draining to be here so long and it'll be good to have our own space again.
 
As I have been doing, I also crafted a list of goals for the season, and here they are: 
 
1. Finish moving to Massachusetts. 
2. Find and maintain gainful employment. 
3. Choose and begin the next writing project.
4. Get the cat neutered.
5. Set up an altar and working space in the new apartment. 
6. Begin a t'ai chi class, or at least regular practice. 
7. Plan the wedding!
 
That's all for now. How's by you?
 
 
 
shadowbird: (other destinations)
  • I have not yet done a Pi-Con wrap up, which makes it highly unlikely that I will actually do one, so for the record, it was freakin' awesome, I had a great time, and I now have a lion.
  • Speaking of the lion! His name is Aloysius, and he is the Lion of Chance. He was named by [livejournal.com profile] shadesong, and he has a collar of dice, and he helped with my shot today because I was having muscle tension of doom, and he is basically the rockingest lion ever. Pictures eventually.
  • I am back on www.sparkpeople.com, once again tracking my exercise and food intake. Here's hoping I can get back into some good habits.
  • I have been writing, a bit! I am thinking of retooling the Headvoices so that they're not a script, and tell a more coherent story. If anyone has thoughts on this, do comment! If you'd like to read them, they're tagged as "voice" here.
  • I am applying to Brooklyn College because they have a Master's program in French teaching for 7th-12th grade. This is exciting.
  • I have three (three! wow!) interviews lined up so far for tutoring gigs, on Monday and Tuesday of next week. Good vibes, prayers, thoughts, energy, incantations, etc. would be much appreciated.
  • I have been horrible at making plans to see people, mostly because I keep getting hit by the nap-hammer. HOWEVER! I got through today (a shot day, even!) with no nap, so hopefully I can stop sleeping so much extra.
  • Yay #Roombed.
I should really get to the non-electronic part of my day now. . .'night, gang.

shadowbird: (other destinations)
I haven't been sleeping much lately. I keep being up and good to go at ten and eleven and midnight, and then crashing during the day. I feel like I'm totally behind on everything and I never get anything done. I also get kinda worried because it's really obvious that Cadence and I are on totally different schedules, sleeping and time wise, and I wonder how that's going to intersect when we live together, especially if I change work shifts.

I've been meeting really weird cool new people, it's awesome and fun and I feel like doors are opening all over the place. I just wish I was getting some more sleep. Being more careful around caffeine would probably help, but I'm just tired anyway and then also having caffeine withdrawal when I try and cut it.

I haven't spoken to my father in over a month.

Stop:
deflecting responsibility--doing okay with this one
spending more than $50/wk on food--this has been completely scrapped
avoiding creative projects--I'm working on writing again

Go:
Dragon food plan--I've been eating better, at least. I dunno if you'd call it a plan though
Use Mint effectively and pay bills on time--Mint is kind of a fail, bill paying is something I'm working on
Go back into analysis--I have people to call, but haven't called them
Blog daily--HA.
Name change--My court date for this is Thursday, and I feel good about it.
Start a new physical activity--Was sorta okay on the five rites, hoping to start Seido sometime soon, maybe.

Yeah. . .stagnation. Bleh.
I need some space, it feels like. I want a new space now, so I can really sort out what goes in it. I always prefer to move in February and March, it feels like the time to purge and restructure and move on. I'm reaching for something but I'm not quite sure what.

Resolution update:
shadowbird: (Paris)
I am posting now.
Some notes:
I have exercised two days in a row! Go me!
I am being good about using the calendar.
I'm working on defining why and when I want the praise that I do, because it's definitely an issue in multiple situations. I'm looking to be a pleaser and then not getting much feedback and feeling neglected.
I am being reasonably good about food, and actually really good about intake! And breakfast!
The weather has been nice here.

Grateful for:
The girlfriend
Late shifts at work
Friends!
My Friday night plans. . . *impish glee*
Remembering to buy shave stuff today
The girlfriend
Having signed up for the Landmark Forum. . . I'm really looking forward to that
Going to Noho this month!
Exercises that feel good
Vitamins that taste good
The girlfriend

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