shadowbird: (other destinations)
I haven't been sleeping much lately. I keep being up and good to go at ten and eleven and midnight, and then crashing during the day. I feel like I'm totally behind on everything and I never get anything done. I also get kinda worried because it's really obvious that Cadence and I are on totally different schedules, sleeping and time wise, and I wonder how that's going to intersect when we live together, especially if I change work shifts.

I've been meeting really weird cool new people, it's awesome and fun and I feel like doors are opening all over the place. I just wish I was getting some more sleep. Being more careful around caffeine would probably help, but I'm just tired anyway and then also having caffeine withdrawal when I try and cut it.

I haven't spoken to my father in over a month.

Stop:
deflecting responsibility--doing okay with this one
spending more than $50/wk on food--this has been completely scrapped
avoiding creative projects--I'm working on writing again

Go:
Dragon food plan--I've been eating better, at least. I dunno if you'd call it a plan though
Use Mint effectively and pay bills on time--Mint is kind of a fail, bill paying is something I'm working on
Go back into analysis--I have people to call, but haven't called them
Blog daily--HA.
Name change--My court date for this is Thursday, and I feel good about it.
Start a new physical activity--Was sorta okay on the five rites, hoping to start Seido sometime soon, maybe.

Yeah. . .stagnation. Bleh.
I need some space, it feels like. I want a new space now, so I can really sort out what goes in it. I always prefer to move in February and March, it feels like the time to purge and restructure and move on. I'm reaching for something but I'm not quite sure what.

Resolution update:
shadowbird: (Default)
For the purpose of explaining "Why Charlie?," a vignette:

So I was talking to my mom last night, and without letting on why I was asking inquired as to what she would have named me if I had been a boy. She promptly replied that I would have had my brother's name, and he would have had a family name that doesn't really suit either of us. So then I got her to retell the story of why my birth name is what it is. These are stories my mom tells over and over, and loves to tell, so there's nothing odd about me calling her at ten o'clock at night to ask about names. She starts in telling the story, and gets to the bit where she wanted to name me Charlotte, and we talk about her reasoning there and everything. (Charlotte was her favorite cousin growing up, she was sort of a family black sheep and my grandparents did not want me named after her.) So my mother continues and as usual concludes that there's no special familial reason why they picked my birth name, they just liked it.
Now, my birth name and my mom's name start with the same letter, and when I shortened my name to go by my first initial she thought that was really cool and did it too. I decided that I didn't want to play around with the same set of initials, because my mother would unintentionally make me crazy over it. But I could take the name she'd wanted in the first place and use the masculine version of that, which gets me Charlie. So there we go.
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shadowbird: (jica)
Okay, so. Having reviewed comments, questions, queries and opinions, and having slept on it, and having test-driven it, so to speak, there are two decisions that have been reached this morrning.
One is that, certain persuasive opinions be damned, I really like "J" names and feel they're emotionally easier to adapt to, as I'm kind of attatched to getting eight Scrabble points with my letter. Also, since they're derivative, they're more likely to be used. Hence "Jae" making more sense than "Rae," and being altogether more pleasant.

The other is that you all deserve an explanation. My reasoning for this name-change stems from a desire to strive towards a more honest and forthright direction in my life, and to distance myself from the negative aspects of my character that came into stronger play towards the end of sophomore year. I feel as though the name "Jica" does not reflect the changes I have made in my personal life to become a better and more emotionally honest person.

I'm not feeling terribly articulate this morning, so I'll leave it at that. Discuss at will!
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shadowbird: (scream)
All is well, but I have a question.

[Poll #787874]
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