shadowbird: (mixed up)
I hate this. I'm really unhappy with the situation I'm in. I feel as though I'm only getting clear communication when I'm not face-to-face with the person I have the most conflict with. I'm tired of working it out, I just want to walk away.

I also didn't blog yesterday, and I feel crappy about that. I woke up this morning wanting to punch things, and when the rage found a target I felt worse.

I'm tired of this.
shadowbird: (salty goodness)
The fucking fire alarm went off at 3:30 this morning. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR OWWIE OWWIE OWW.
The apartment I saw yesterday is too far away, so back to the drawing board on that. Meanwhile, I would like a clean house by the end of the day, and I have decided to start with the living room, so it'll get done.
Therapy has been good lately, but I don't really want to do anything anymore.
I came out to my manager, and that went well, so I'm going to start disclosing to colleagues next week.
I'm tired.

Motivation to get living room clean: entire Cowboy Bebop series on DVD. Hopefully the room will be done before I run out of episodes.



shadowbird: (Default)
So, double dose of therapy for this week--it looks like I will be coming out at work. Cue scared. But excited, But. . .g'ah.
The purring kitten says bedtime.
Tired.
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shadowbird: (Default)
Today I had all my usual Sunday obligations as a First-Day School teacher, as well as the friends I see after meeting on Sundays. In consequence, I spent the whole day as female. Now, this wasn't too big of a deal, as gender rarely comes up in the context of Quakerism for me. However, I was out to lunch afterward with three women from the meeting, and we were discussing various things. Two of the women are lesbians, one is bi, and we were discussing body hair on men and women and what we thought about it, etc., and I made a comment that prior to my last gf,  I dated really femmey girls. In response to this, K laughed and said she'd always thought of me as femme. Now, I can see some of where she'd get that, given that she's only known me a short time and all of that was while I was dating my ex, but it just seemed off to me. I've been spending some time as Charlie each day this week, and last night I went out not quite en homme but definitely presenting as genderqueer if not male. It wasn't drastically uncomfortable to be my usual androgynously female self, but it's good to be home. The cat doesn't care what gender I am as long as I still open the food.

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October 2015

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