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So, I stepped down from some responsibilities at my church. I had to admit that it wasn't meeting my spiritual needs, and decided that even though I love the community I need to take my time back to actually do my spiritual work. It was tough and emotional.

I also changed one of my romantic relationships, moving to a more friends-with-occasional-benefits situation. I needed to let go of long-distance relationships for my own emotional health. I need more people in my time zone, as my mother says, in the metaphorical and in the literal senses. That doesn't make it sting any less, and I'm really glad my partner in that relationship is kind and loving and truly wants me to be safe and happy.

I've emailed to see about starting a barre exercise class--working out and being healthy will help make space for other things, too.

I didn't plan on needing to work on this kind of space, and it's heavy.

In happier news, I'm about to embark on Camp NaNo for the succubus story, and bass lessons and time with Mr. K. continue apace.
shadowbird: (mixed up)
I'm not at church this morning. As much as I love the community at herchurch , the spirituality is just not speaking to me these days. Calling the Divine "She" is just not the most important part of religious experience for me. Also, in my experience, there's just not a Divine One. There's the Divine One I'm  talking to at the moment, sure, but I am a hard polytheist. That's my experienced truth, and I'm sticking with it. Every time I try to work in an assumed singularity of the divine, I just get to a point where I feel like I'm lying, and lying in your spiritual practice is a damn fine way to get your ass kicked.

I'm frustrated by the lack of something like Grailwood out here. It was what I needed, and I still need it. It's hard to do all this on my own.

Maybe it's time to go back to "everything is devotional". That worked for a while. Part of my problem with herchurch is what feels, to me, like a lack of the ecstatic, the ferocious, the fecund and the fierce. I can live that without a group, for now.
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I give you a religion blog! Seeking Discernment

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